As I prepared for my retirement and made plans with the HR department, it was decided that my official date of retirement would be January 2, 2023. I had so many plans for how I wanted to spend my time when I no longer had to be going to work every day. I wanted to spend more time with my grandchildren, exercise, pursue some hobbies, read and cook more, but one of the main plans I had was to spend more time visiting my sweet mother in the nursing home.
The morning of January 2, I started my retirement by going very early to the nursing home to be there when my mother had her breakfast. She’d suffered a stroke a month before that had paralyzed her left side and she needed to be fed. However, that morning I was unable to get my mother to wake up when her breakfast was delivered to her room. I did not realize at that time, but it was the beginning of the process of “actively dying.” My sisters and I spent the next couple of days beside her bed. Then on January 4 my precious mother’s life on this earth ended. It was heartbreaking to watch the process.
I am thankful that I no longer had the pressure of needing to be at work and having to choose between my job and being with my mother in her last hours. This was not the way I had planned to start my retirement, but as we all know, some things in life are completely out of our control and we just have to do our best to accept the changes and continue to live.
Grief was definitely a part of the beginning of
my retirement, but it was not a grief of hopelessness. I am grateful for the inner peace I have and
strong family support. It has made
losing the most wonderful mother a little bit easier.
